Media education: How do you teach your children to use media responsibly? Reflections and experiences of a concerned father who gradually realizes what it all means… By Benjamin Haag (2024)
The initial situation, very briefly: children want media. Media is everywhere. Media is not good for children. Is that true? Yes. See here, for example: Ärzteblatt And even more: excessive media consumption also harms young people and adults. The consequences for children and young people can be serious. Media addiction is a real problem. Jonathan Haidt, a professor in New York, even sees dramatic developments. I find his assessment realistic when he says: “
Smartphones and social networks mean that children no longer see their friends as often in real life. They don’t sleep as much. They have fewer experiences with nature and just sit in front of their screens all day. As a result, they miss out on the broad spectrum of experiences that are necessary for healthy development. Their brains are set up for a life in front of a screen. That destroys them.”
What can be done? This blog is about answering this question – with facts and consequences. This much in advance: taking a serious look at this topic offers opportunities to sustainably improve and enrich the lives of children and parents! Who wouldn’t want that? But for many families, their entire (family) life is at stake. Nevertheless, the effort is worth it.
So what is it all about? In the short term, it’s about enabling a pleasant family life. In the medium term, it’s about enabling children and young people to grow and mature personally. In the long term, it’s about turning children into strong and responsible adults.
The big goal: nothing less than shaping a vital and sustainable society.
How it all began… – our story. Right from the start, we were not strict when it came to access to media. Our children were allowed to watch television from an early age – albeit with a strict time limit and only carefully selected programs, no classic television with advertising. Instead, Janosch, Nils Holgersson and Pippi Longstocking on DVD. I also bought a Nintendo Gameboy and a Sega Gamegear on Ebay in nostalgic transfiguration – I have fabulous memories of them. Super Mario Land, Castle of Illusion, Sonic the Hedgehog … The kids should have been allowed to play. But they didn’t (for a long time). Until about two years ago…
Parents have known this for generations: Children want media. Children love entertainment. And why wouldn’t they? Parents and everyone else want to be entertained too – at least now and again, sometimes more, sometimes less. It’s all normal. Clearly the case. But what is the right balance? What if the now and then turns into a permanent need for media use?
Gaming addiction and voyeurism
Our son, 12 years old, could now play for hours on end: Minecraft, Fortnite, … YouTube is also at the top of his list of favorite activities.
Our daughter, 13 years old, could now spend hours browsing Pinterest, watching shorts on Instagram and following the couple on tour on YouTube 🙂
< For those in a hurry: Click here for the top 13 of my experiences and recommendations >
A brief look at history: Who knows what entertainment was like in the Stone Age? Theater probably didn’t exist yet. Drama and theater are known from the ancient world. Later, theater groups and showmen toured the country, there were puppet shows and marionette theaters, magic and circuses were popular with young and old. The public torture and execution of people must also have been a popular form of entertainment for many centuries, albeit cruel and unacceptable from today’s perspective. All of this took place live and in color until… yes, until electronic media entered the world of human entertainment.
Other interesting questions to be discussed here:
When media is used intensively for entertainment: What gets lost? What are children not doing during this time?
Is there an intercultural component, or also a social component? Is the problem of abusive media use greater in educationally disadvantaged milieus? And what does that lead to? Are social divides becoming ever deeper – with what consequences for freedom, justice and democracy? Are there differences between users in different environments or milieus, e.g. in the countryside or in large cities? Cultural twilight/educational twilight? Is there a connection between media consumption and educational failure? PISA sends its regards…
How about an experiment that implements the total withdrawal of media (smartphones, games consoles and all other internet-enabled devices)?
Studies on media use at a glance!
(Text will be updated continuously…)
The facts: Figures on media consumption by children and young people in Germany
Numerous studies have already addressed the question of the media usage behavior of children and young people in Germany, including the JIM and KIM studies conducted by the Medienpädagogischer Forschungsverbund Südwest (mpfs for short) in 2022 and 2023. According to the KIM study from 2022, 100% of the households surveyed have a television and 99% have a smartphone, according to the main educators. However, it is not only households in general that have these devices. For example, 44% of children aged 6 to 13 already have their own smartphone, 34% have their own CD player and 30% have their own television. These figures are even higher among 12 to 19-year-olds. Around 95% own a smartphone, 73% a computer and 58% a television. In addition, young people own more devices such as tablets, smart speakers and wearables (e.g. smartwatches) than children.
Although these figures say something about access to certain devices, they do not say anything about actual consumer behavior – unlike surveys of children and young people about their leisure activities, for example. According to their own statements, 67% of respondents spend their free time watching TV every day and 48% use their smartphones. In contrast, only 33% of children and young people say they meet up with friends every day. Other leisure activities such as sport, reading or creative activities such as arts and crafts or drawing are also generally neglected in comparison to media consumption. When it comes to media consumption, it is also essential to look at the daily duration of online use. In 2013, young people spent an average of 179 minutes per day consuming media. 10 years later, this figure is already 224 minutes.
According to Prof. Dr. Rainer Thomasius, Medical Director of the German Center for Childhood and Adolescent Addiction at the UKE, the COVID-19 pandemic has permanently changed the way we deal with digital media. This finding is based on the DAK longitudinal study, which was conducted from 2019 to 2022. Among other things, it shows the drastic change in media consumption among young people, including increased addictive behavior during and after the pandemic. The study speaks of risky or pathological usage behavior, which is also commonly referred to as media addiction. According to Thomasius, this is encouraged by feelings of loneliness, social isolation, loss of control, stress and other negative feelings. The study shows that the prevalence of risky computer game behavior and gaming disorder (i.e. pathological computer game behavior) has increased significantly compared to the use of various media. In June 2022, 11.8% of children and young people exhibited risky computer gaming behavior, twice as high a prevalence as before the pandemic. In terms of screen time for social media such as Instagram, Tik Tok and the like, the figure was 16.4%, and 6.3% of children and young people were even diagnosed with pathological use. The use of streaming services has also increased significantly during the pandemic. Compared to the use of digital games and media, pathological use is less common (2.3% overall), but here too, risky usage behavior increased to 13.9% over the course of the pandemic. The study also shows that the use of these media peaked during the first lockdown in 2020, but leveled off again afterwards. However, even after the pandemic, consumption never returned to pre-crisis levels.
Another interesting aspect is media multitasking or dual screening. This refers to the parallel use of several digital media. Up to 85% of children and young people stated that they had used at least two media at the same time. In summary, it can be said that not only do more and more children and young people in Germany have access to different media, but media consumption is also steadily increasing and has experienced a real boom during the coronavirus pandemic.
The consequences: What does science say?
According to scientific and research findings, the increasing media consumption of children and young people has various (negative) consequences. Among other things, media consumption has an impact on sleep. Sleep plays an important role for adolescents, as neuronal connections are formed and restructured during this time. More and more children and adolescents are complaining of difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. According to Spitzer, increased media use shortly before falling asleep has a particularly negative effect on sleep behavior, which manifests itself in daytime sleepiness. (see Spitzer, 2017, p. 265 f.). The reason for this is that the bright display of smartphones and tablets, for example, inhibits the release of the hormone melatonin, which regulates the day-night rhythm. “Lack of sleep means that concentration and attention are impaired” (Wiater, 2023, p. 1). In children of primary school age, this also manifests itself in hyperactive behavior.
However, it is not only a lack of sleep, but also excessive media consumption itself that has an impact on attention and concentration. A US study has shown that the mere presence of a smartphone has an enormous impact on our attention span and ability to concentrate. The study found that both working memory capacity and reasoning ability were almost twice as high when the smartphone was in a room other than on the work desk.
Another aspect that is influenced by media use is language development, especially in early (2-6 years) to middle childhood (6-11 years). Scientists agree that social interaction is of crucial importance at every stage of language acquisition. For example, language development depends heavily on whether a child grows up in a language-rich or language-poor environment. Media consumption influences language acquisition to the extent that the time children and/or parents spend in front of a screen is the time when little or no interaction takes place and everyday life is therefore less language-rich overall.
The consequences of media consumption can also be observed with regard to visual acuity. Studies show that spending too much time in front of a screen increases the risk of short-sightedness. For example, a Chinese longitudinal study found that myopia worsens significantly, particularly in schoolchildren between the ages of 6 and 8, as a result of increased screen time, which is encouraged by homeschooling, for example. The reason for the development of myopia is often the lack of daylight and the inability to see at a distance. However, smartphones, tablets, computers and televisions are usually used close up and in closed rooms, which favors such visual impairment. Habermann also warns that the earlier visual impairment occurs, the greater its extent and intensity (see Habermann, 2020, p. 62). To prevent this, it is recommended that children spend a lot of time outdoors to train their distance vision.
Spending more time outdoors can not only have a positive effect on vision, but also on physical health. Children between the ages of 5 and 10 are recommended to engage in at least one hour of moderate to high intensity physical activity every day. According to a WHO study from 2022, 80% of children and young people do not achieve the recommended amount of physical activity for their age. The reasons for this enormous lack of physical activity are multifactorial, but can also be linked to media consumption, among other things. As already mentioned, young people between the ages of 12 and 19 spend an average of around four hours a day in front of a screen. Most of this time is spent sitting or lying down. This leads to an increasing lack of exercise, which not only has an impact on bone health, the cardiovascular system, the psyche and academic performance, etc. The lack of exercise is particularly noticeable in early childhood in terms of motor skills, as can be seen from various children’s drawings, for example (see Spitzer, 2017, p. 211).
Social media, which is primarily used by young people (aged 12-19), also has a major impact on social life. Platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat and Tik Tok make it possible to build social relationships with people across physical distances, which is initially a positive thing. Ironically, however, social media also harbors the risk of loneliness, as many of the relationships formed there tend to be superficial in nature. For example, an Australian study found that young adults (aged 19-32) who use social media intensively feel significantly more socially isolated than those who use it less.
Parents (and other educators): What should we do?
The role of parents is important when it comes to the media consumption of children and young people. Dr. Heidrun Thaiss, Director of the Federal Centre for Health Education (BZgA), agrees: “As long as media consumption doesn’t take up all of our free time and put a strain on family life, the right level has been reached. Here too, parents are role models for their children with their media use”.
The following are various official recommendations, e.g. from ministries, on how parents can monitor their children’s consumption and set a good example themselves.
1. set firm rules and boundaries: According to the Federal Ministry of Health, parents should establish firm rules on media consumption in general in advance in order to set clear boundaries. It is also important that screen media are not used as a reward, punishment or reassurance. In addition, attention should be paid to compliance with age restrictions for computer games, films and social media.
2. limit screen time: This point follows on from the first recommendation and relates primarily to the duration of use. A limited amount of screen time should be set before media devices are switched on. This can vary depending on age. According to the BZgA, children under the age of 3 should not use screen media at all. Children between the ages of 3 and 6 should spend a maximum of 30 minutes and children between the ages of 6 and 10 a maximum of 45 to 60 minutes a day in front of a screen.
3. be a role model: It is also important that parents are aware of their role model function, as consumer behavior is often imitated by children. The Federal Ministry of Health therefore recommends that parents themselves adhere to the agreed rules on screen time. Parents can set a good example by using media purposefully and not as a pastime. This can mean, for example, not consuming screen media during meals.
4. show interest: Showing interest can build a foundation of trust with children. It is advisable to ask the children questions about the content they are consuming or to watch it together with them.
5. offer other activities: Parents should plan joint activities without digital media. These could be sports activities, excursions or board games, for example. According to the Federal Ministry of Health, care should also be taken to reduce the input in everyday life, as boredom promotes children’s creativity.
6. education: According to Safer Internet, educating children before they access the internet plays a crucial role. Topics such as data protection, violence, cyberbullying, social media, but also fake news and advertising should therefore be discussed in detail in advance. Sex education should also take place at this stage at the latest in order to protect children from pornographic content on the one hand, but also from unwanted internet acquaintances on the other.
7. create technical barriers: To further restrict media consumption in terms of content, Safer Internet recommends installing technical barriers in the form of anti-virus programs and a parental control mode. This can make content that is not age-appropriate inaccessible to children. Screen time can also be restricted by certain programs.
8.Going online/offline together: According to the Federal Ministry, it is important to consume or not consume media together with children. For example, parents should have their first movie experiences together with their children. They should also give themselves and their children the opportunity to not always be reachable and encourage independence from electronic devices. According to Daniela Ludwig, Federal Government Commissioner for Drugs, “It’s not about bans, but about a healthy approach to digital media. To achieve this, parents must accompany their children into the media world in an age-appropriate manner […] – from the very beginning”.
The role of schools
Especially since the pandemic, the topic of digitalization in German schools has been increasingly discussed again. In the JIM Study 2023, 63% of the young people surveyed between the ages of 12 and 19 stated that they were regularly online in class. There is a clear increase in digital use over the course of the age group. In 2023, 83% of 18 to 19-year-olds use the internet regularly or daily during lessons, but only 47% of 12 to 13-year-olds. Whether this use of digital media leads to greater learning success at school is a recurring debate. Since 2016, the Standing Conference of the Ministers of Education and Cultural Affairs (KMK) has been pursuing the “Education in the digital world” strategy with the aim of promoting digitalization in schools nationwide. Claudia Bogedan, President of the KMK, sees digital media as having “great potential for the design of new teaching and learning processes […] if you think of the opportunities for individual support for pupils alone”. Above all, individual support is seen as a clear advantage. The Lower Saxony Ministry of Culture also sees the possibility of creative access to information and its processing. In addition, there are many opportunities for communication and cooperation. The “Education in the digital world” strategy covers various areas of competence, such as finding and processing information, communicating, producing, but also protecting against online dangers.
However, the current digitalization strategy in schools has also been increasingly criticized in recent years. One important point of criticism is that digitalization is increasingly pushing pedagogy, which is essential for learning success, into the background. According to Klaus Zierer, Professor of School Pedagogy at the University of Augsburg, replacing blackboards, books and pens with smartboards, computers and tablets has no significant positive impact and can even have a negative effect. Among other things, he advocates taking notes by hand instead of using a computer, as this leads to “greater penetration and more selective absorption of what is heard”. Media educator Ralf Lankau also questions digitalization in schools. Above all, he calls for the age-appropriate use of digital media in schools: “[The] younger the children, the more sparingly they should use media, especially technical media. Screen media overwhelm children in the first years of life due to the multitude of stimuli. They have no place in educational work […]. The longer children grow up without screen media, the better”. Like Zierer, Lankau also emphasizes that studies do not prove any explicit learning success through digital technology. Rather, there is a risk of impaired thinking, social behavior and attention. Another point of criticism is that it is primarily the socio-economically stronger schools that benefit from digitalization, thereby increasing inequality of opportunity.
In the context of this criticism, it must be perplexing that Sweden, the country that was long considered a pioneer of digitalization in schools, is now backpedalling and increasingly relying on analogue teaching materials. According to the Swedish Minister of Education, reading skills in particular are to be promoted again with the help of books. Researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm are also against the excessive use of digital technology in the classroom. Torkel Klingberg says: “Depending on how intensively schools use computers, this has an impact on math and reading skills. The more a school bases its teaching on the internet and computers, the poorer the children’s performance”. Whether advocates or critics of digitalization in schools, everyone agrees on one point: the quality of teaching and the associated learning performance ultimately depend on the teacher and their skills. Specific training in media skills is therefore essential for the use of digital media in schools.
The power of corporations – between profit and responsibility
As already explained at the beginning, more and more children and young people are tending towards pathological usage behavior, which is generally referred to as media addiction. Although the reasons for this type of consumer behavior are multifactorial, the major digital corporations such as Meta, Google and others bear enormous responsibility. This is because digital media of all kinds strive to bind people to their platforms and keep them there for as long as possible. They achieve this primarily through a constantly improving algorithm and certain design elements that have a major influence on the human brain’s reward system. The algorithm is a complex mathematical system that constantly collects and evaluates the user’s usage data. In this way, the algorithm “learns” what interests each individual user has.
As a result, the content displayed on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and the like is exactly what you are interested in. Many users fall into the so-called “rabbit hole”. This refers to the endless swiping on digital media, i.e. losing yourself on the internet. Experts consider the TikTok platform in particular to be very dangerous in this respect, as the TikTok algorithm is highly optimized. This goes so far that the EU Commission has filed a lawsuit against the Chinese company for violations of the Digital Services Act (DAS) in 2023. Among other things, the lawsuit focuses on the increased addictive potential of the algorithm, as well as possible radicalization processes through certain content, the lack of age verification for minors and a lack of transparency in data protection. Austrian journalist Armin Wolf, who conducted a self-experiment with TikTok, commented: “TikTok is hell. But damn well done. […] once I’ve opened the TikTok app, I can hardly close it again.”
However, meta-platforms such as Instagram and YouTube also harbor similar risks of addiction due to their algorithms. A position paper from the Council for Digital Ecology states: “The frontal brain in particular, which plays a key role in impulse control, develops well into adolescence. This means that young people can be particularly vulnerable to social media that target the reward system.” The big digital companies seem to take the increased risk of addiction for children and young people less seriously. In February 2024, Meta and TikTok filed a counterclaim against the European Commission, as the latter had previously demanded regulatory fees as part of the DSA.In addition to the risk of addiction, the digital giants are also criticized for other aspects, as they pose further risks for children and young people. Due to the oversupply of content, it is not uncommon for children and young people to be confronted with content that is not age-appropriate. This can include sexual, violent or problematic content on topics such as eating disorders or alcohol abuse.
Although most platforms have a minimum age limit of 13 (Whatsapp even has an age limit of 16), there is no age verification. Chat groups in messenger services such as WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger are viewed particularly critically, as disturbing videos and photos are often sent here, which are hardly controlled by the platforms. Experts therefore strongly advise parents to take a closer look at the content consumed by their children and its age appropriateness in order to educate and protect their children. Media educator Rebecca Wasinski addresses another danger in an interview with WDR. She explains the danger of so-called “TikTok challenges” as follows: “[The] likes increase self-esteem because people seem to like what I’ve done and published. And a lot of people might see that. Peer pressure plays a role here, to be popular or to present yourself as brave or cool.
These are factors that encourage young people to take part in such challenges.” According to TikTok, it is making efforts to ban life-threatening dares and block their content, but so far these safety measures do not appear to be overly effective. In 2023, for example, there were two deaths of young people in Germany as part of a “Deo-Einatmen-Challenge.” Overall, it can be said that social networks are very risky for children and young people in terms of addictive behavior and dangerous content. However, the big companies seem to put their own profits above their responsibilities.
Looking to the future – what’s next, how will our society develop? Emergence of a culture of the lowered gaze
In an interview, sociologist Hartmut Rosa is asked the following: “You once wrote: ‘Life succeeds when it can be lived in resonant relationships.’ Is digitalization and the omnipresence of smartphones destroying this possibility? Hartmut Rosa, born in 1965, is one of the most renowned sociologists in Germany. He is a professor in Jena and Director of the Max Weber College at the University of Erfurt.
Hartmut Rosa answers: “I wouldn’t say that it will always be destroyed. That would be too simple. There are many contexts in which digitalization also enables resonance. For example, when my children go to Australia to study, I can continue to have a resonant relationship with them via digital communication. Or there are people who perhaps live alone somewhere in the village and think they are the only ones suffering from an illness, and suddenly they realize that there are other voices out there that hear and understand them. Then they have a kind of digital resonance. The problem, however, is that interaction with the world outside the smartphone is gradually being lost. The culture of the lowered gaze is predominant, the permanent swipe across a contourless surface. When screens and touchscreens become the mono-channel through which we perceive the world and interact with it, this naturally has great potential to alienate us.”
Question: “What does that mean?”
Hartmut Rosa’s answer: “You can see very clearly how opportunities for resonance are lost because we are not just moving with our words, but with our whole body. When there are two of you in a room, you have an awareness of physical presence. We perceive the space we are in, we see, smell and hear. The awareness that we share all of this already creates a kind of resonance structure. That is lost digitally.”
Question: “If everyone just stares at their cell phone, the resonance will fall silent. Not a very hopeful prospect.”
Hartmut Rosa’s (provisional) conclusion: “Yes, but you have to be wary of cultural pessimism and be honest with yourself: If I had lived in the Stone Age, I would probably have been against the invention of writing. Because it distorts real face-to-face communication. But humans are incredibly adaptable. We also had pretty good reasons for thinking that television was the end of culture. We thought the same about the printing press. And we were wrong.”
Electronic media – an unstoppable triumph
Since the invention of the television, children (and everyone else, of course 🙂 have loved television. But it hasn’t stopped there: Video consoles, smartphones, computers, tablets and the like are now part of practically every household in Germany and provide a permanent entertainment program. The television is likely to experience a renaissance again with Netflix and co. Young people as series junkies are probably not uncommon either.
A painful observation… I once observed something with my son that really hurt me. It was being torn back and forth, trying to control his own playtime on the Switch, but always being magnetically drawn back to it. He just couldn’t manage to stay away from the console. This failure not only made me think, it also made me very sad. A friend once said that a child would have to have superpowers to learn French instead of playing Playstation. That’s certainly true. Now: what to do?
Important questions and answers on the use of media in the family can be found here.
Punish violations – but how? About growing into responsibility, bad role models and inconsistency
Households generally have several devices on which entertainment of all kinds can be consumed: Smartphones, tablets, games consoles etc. This makes it easy for children to be tempted to use these devices – even secretly – against certain agreements. In these cases, I believe that consistent, calm (possibly even wordless) removal is very important so that children learn to control themselves. Can this work? Children can grow into responsibility through consistent sanctions (e.g. removal) – that’s my theory. Of course, it can also be helpful to put the devices in a drawer, according to the motto: out of sight, out of mind.
If we as parents/adults are already inconsistent, how should the children learn consistency? But sometimes this happens: we feel sorry for our child, see them as dissatisfied, unhappy, sad. I say to myself: I want to overcome the feeling of making the child unhappy – because it’s deceptive, this feeling. We have to learn to put up with the fact that the child is unhappy in the short term – for the long-term happiness of our child!
Top 13 of my personal experiences and recommendations (work in progress)
Be restrictive: In my opinion, children should only be allowed limited use of entertainment media (smartphones, games consoles, tablets, televisions, computers…). And: Parents need to know what children are consuming and how long they are doing this every day. In my experience, it makes no sense to put the responsibility for this on the children, because they are simply not mature enough for it.
Parents (and other educators) are responsible.
This can make things quite stressful. Restrictive use also means control, possibly taking it away, sanctions for violations, etc. Out of sight, out of mind. This is how it works. The devices must not be within sight or reach. They must be locked away.
First work, then pleasure. Japan is a country of early risers. How do people manage to do this so consistently? With cleverly placed rewards, for example: In Japan, it is traditional to eat chocolate for breakfast – this is how many people motivate themselves to get up early. The sometimes probably annoying early rising is linked to something very nice! Our son has to make music before he can play.
Since then, his instrument has taken on another positive meaning for him. Of course, you could be sad about that, along the lines of: That’s the only way he plays his instrument? Yes. Sometimes that’s the only way, I would like to say. What’s wrong with the fact that the boy now practices very regularly?
Creating alternatives – probably the best way to get a lasting grip on children’s excessive media consumption. But how exactly? 🙂 Certainly not easy – and time-consuming. I take my son to taekwondo training 2-4 times a week. He really enjoys it – and doesn’t think about Minecraft and the like for a second. An additional, but completely different way is to systematically involve children and young people in practical family life.
In every family, there are daily tasks that need to be completed. In my opinion, children can and must be involved here: Helping to prepare meals, tidying up, cleaning … – I see great potential in this area to keep children occupied in a meaningful way. The wonderful thing is that these activities provide valuable experiences, teach responsibility, help discover skills and talents, etc. It is also important for children to see that parents are not (only) the children’s service providers, but that they want help and support here and there. Cooperation is the magic word. In my experience, however, many parents still need to learn this. There is often the idea that you have to do everything for the children in order to provide maximum support (helicopter parents, listen up!), and: because you can do it better anyway (and it might be quicker). Instead, children can learn self-efficacy when they (are allowed to) act for themselves.
Composure: A good dose of composure is also important for parents. We can’t control everything. If we wanted to, unhappiness would be inevitable. I have experienced a lot of despair whenever I have realized that things are not going the way I think they should, i.e. when iPhone, iPad, Switch and co. have fully developed their magnetic attraction for my son.
Against good persuasion, against assurances to reduce usage, despite alternative offers etc.
Network connections: If all my son’s friends are gaming, it’s harder for my son to understand why he’s not allowed to. It might be even harder to realize that he can’t have a say when his friends are talking about Fortnite and the like. Children may be left on the sidelines if they can’t have a say. That’s a big problem. In this way, media consumption becomes a social problem that can only be solved by society as a whole.
For me, it means creating a network with other parents within which rules apply, in particular a restriction on media consumption. Abstinence from media is the magic word – you can’t do without it.
Self-control and gradual personal responsibility: Children should gradually learn to take responsibility for their own leisure activities. However, this is a process, not a demand that can be expected to be fulfilled immediately. You can start, for example, by having children look at the clock themselves when they start playing. Or setting an alarm clock with the agreed time.
I also hold my son accountable here, e.g. by asking him: When did you start playing? If he repeatedly fails to tell me the time, the device is taken away. If we as parents are away for a while and the children are on their own, we now also say: Make sure you use media responsibly.
Lock away or digital detox: Taking devices out of sight and reach is a sure way to limit media consumption. Consistently. For example, I recommend leaving the devices at home completely during the vacations. Agreed times are also good, e.g. no more gaming or similar after 6 pm. – Take devices out of the children’s rooms. Controlled access. Clear rules: No devices at mealtimes.
No devices when visiting. No devices in the toilet 🙂
Have conversations with the children and young people. Talk openly with your child about the subject. I, for example, have already said: “Nobody in the world means better to you than mom and dad.” Discuss the dangers of excessive media consumption in a child-friendly way. Whether and to what extent you can reach the child rationally is another question. Nevertheless, I find it (intuitively) important to go down this path too.
Playing games together with your child 🙂 Can be really fun, of course, and why not? Many parents remember the fun factor of video games from their own childhood and teenage years – the Gameboy sends its regards! Why does that make sense? It’s a way of creating a connection with the child and spending time together. In my opinion, demonization alone cannot be the right approach.
Be a role model: Yes, that sounds old-fashioned. But it’s still as true as it was on the first day… If children see their parents constantly on their cell phones, then it’s no wonder they use them themselves, is it? Inevitably, it must also be about reflecting on your own media consumption – critically reflecting on it and limiting it 😉
Paradoxical intervention: ever tried it? Paul Watzlawick sends his regards – and Marshall Rosenberg.
The latter tells of how he no longer set any time limits for his son, who steadfastly refused to go to bed early, as to when the light in his room should go out. Only the door to the children’s room was to remain closed. The result: lights on until midnight, leaden eyelids the next morning.
The child was cured after a while 🙂 How could this be done in the context of media use? Hmm…
Long breath: Education takes time. Children develop. Adults do too, by the way 😉 Good things take time. Think about medium and long-term effects… The kids will occasionally remember critical comments. The principle of sowing and reaping also applies ….
One more thing 🙂 Does anyone know the OneSec app? The app delays access to certain other apps, e.g. Instagram.
To do this, it has to be activated for a specific other app (e.g. Instagram). If you now want to open Instagram, a full-size bar appears for several seconds, which first moves downwards and then back up again. In short: access to the target app is significantly delayed.
This can actually lead to you not using the app out of sheer impatience. This was really the case for me – with Instagram 🙂 Occasionally, I wanted to take a look at what was new – and then I would probably have been stuck in the endless entertainment worlds of Instagram for longer. In other words, the OneSec app can have a weaning effect. What can we learn from this for our children’s media consumption? The app had no effect on my son, he simply waited on YouTube: no signs of weaning. But: Delayed access is also possible in the analog world. What do I do? When the children come home from school, they have no access to technical devices. They only have it after lunch, after talking about the rest of the day, after playing a bit of music on their own instruments…
Capital mistakes – the top 3
Leaving children to their own devices and giving them permanent access to media in the hope that it will somehow work itself out or even in the belief that media consumption is good and sensible so that children learn how to deal with technology.
Inconsistency: To understand what exactly the problem with inconsistency is, it is worth taking a look at psychology. It is about so-called intermittent reinforcement.
Intermittent reinforcement? The dictionary of psychology writes: intermittent reinforcement, “interrupted” reinforcement of a behavior through rewards, leads to this behavior persisting more persistently than with regular rewards.
So if I want to reinforce a desired behavior, I should praise or reward inconsistently. Let’s think outside the box: the situation is different with media consumption, which is generally undesirable. Consistency is the be-all and end-all here, because if I “break” prohibitions, soften the rules again and again, etc., then I reinforce my child’s desire to consume media. If you keep giving in to the nagging child, you’re in for a surprise. The fulfilled wish will not lead to the child becoming frugal or even giving up; exactly the opposite is the case. The child will continue its nagging, pleading, begging behavior, intensify it and want more and more.
Constantly consuming media themselves and being a bad role model for children.
Further information
For small children, the matter is also very clear, see here – restless, slower, disinterested!
Get out of the virtual world!
Sensory overload: How much screens harm children
Generation Z on the brink
Exciting interview with Prof. Dr. Spitzer: “MEDIA IS A DOSAGE PROBLEM”
Science is pretty much in agreement: media consumption out of control! Media consumption as a health risk: pediatricians and adolescent physicians are more likely than average to detect abnormalities such as motor hyperactivity, poor concentration and restlessness when media consumption is conspicuously high.
Studies on media use: https://www.schau-hin.info/studien/studien-zur-mediennutzung
https://www.bmfsfj.de/resource/blob/122422/fb3478ade6da980ed22b025228cea795/der-einfache-einstieg-in-die-medienerziehung-gutes-aufwachsen-mit-medien-data.pdf
https://www.aok.de/pk/magazin/familie/eltern/medienkonsum-bei-kindern-tipps-fuer-eltern/#
Photos: Adobe Stock/Align, UKE/DZSKJ, Adobe Stock/Alessandro Biascioli, Adobe Stock/Suzi Media
https://www.welt.de/kultur/plus249747618/Deutsche-Schulen-Die-Smartphone-Katastrophe.html
Sensory overload: How much screens harm children
Federal Ministry of Health (2020). Recommendations for dealing with media. https://www.bundesgesundheitsministerium.de/fileadmin/Dateien/5_Publikationen/Drogen_und_Sucht/Berichte/Broschuere/Leporello_-_Empfehlungen_zum_Bildschirmmedienkonsum_bf.pdf.
Safer Internet (2021). How to take action against hate and radicalism on the internet. https://www.saferinternet.at/news-detail/wie-sie-gegen-hetze-und-radikalismus-im-internet-vorgehen-koennen/
Federal Center for Health Education (2019). Using digital media with a sense of proportion. https://www.bzga.de/aktuelles/2019-12-03-digitale-medien-mit-augenmass-nutzen/#:~:text=Kinder%20im%20Alter%20von%200,45%20bis%202060%20Minuten%20t%20t%C3%A4glich
Ralf Lankau (2017). No one learns digitally. On the sensible use of new media in the classroom.
https://www.mpfs.de/fileadmin/files/Studien/JIM/2022/JIM_2023_web_final_kor.pdf
https://digitaleschule.niedersachsen.de/startseite/info_material/infos_zur_digitalisierungsstrategie_in_niedersachsischen_schulen/die-digitalisierungsstrategie-fuer-niedersaechsische-schulen-176012.html
https://www.kmk.org/fileadmin/Dateien/veroeffentlichungen_beschluesse/2018/Strategie_Bildung_in_der_digitalen_Welt_idF._vom_07.12.2017.pdf
https://www.swr.de/swrkultur/wissen/swr2-impuls-20231120-1605-01-schweden-viele-schulen-kehren-zurueck-zu-heft-und-buch-102.html
https://www.wissenschaftsmanagement-online.de/system/files/downloads-wimoarticle/1707_WIMO_Lernen%20bleibt%20Lernen_ZIERER.pdf
https://www.wiwo.de/unternehmen/it/klage-der-eu-gegen-tiktok-es-gibt-noch-keine-diagnose-mit-dem-namen-tiktok-abhaengig/29664600.html
https://ratfuerdigitaleoekologie.org/images/downloads/RDOPaper-2023-Draft-DL.pdf
https://www1.wdr.de/nachrichten/tiktok-challenge-tipps-eltern-100.html
https://germany.representation.ec.europa.eu/news/dsa-eu-kommission-leitet-formliches-verfahren-gegen-tiktok-ein-2024-02-19_de